Today we said goodbye to my husband's mom with a memorial service. This was one of the toughest things I have done. I hurt for my husband. I guess I almost cry at every funeral because I hurt for the people hurting. But this one was different because it was family and I was seeing the hurt on loved ones faces. My eyes stayed with tears. Amazingly God was at my rescue. He walked me through every word. I was totally dependant on Him.
I don't have a real word for today, I'm drained, physically and emotionally. But I would like to share with you my joy and praises.
This was the first time meeting my husband's brothers. They are 21 and 19; I hate that we have missed out in being relationship with them but now we have an open door to make a change. That's what is going to count, where do we go from here?
In Georgia time it's almost 3 am. We laid a mom to rest, we reunited with friends and family, and insomnia doesn't change from the east coast to the west.
2009 and 2010 have been difficult years for us, but we are stronger and wiser. Through each of these trials I've learned to ask the question "how does this affect me eternally?" So I lost a wedding band, doesn't change my marriage. So we lost a job, doesn't change the fact that God provides our needs, not a job. So our computers crashed, there is always Bill. So we lost our earthly identity, not our eternal one! But the one on, so we lost a mom...yes that one affects us eternally. There is so many more things that should have been said to her.
I can't live quiet any longer. There is too much life to live. I've been given this life to use it to the full glory of God. This experience changes a lot of things. I realize that even though I haven't hit 30 yet, it is a possibility to lose a parent. I know I've said before that we have to live everyday like it's the last... Every conversation, every action with an eternal perspective. My life can't help but change. Does it mean that I am going to be perfect everyday from here on out, no. That's impossible and unrealistic. But striving toward that is half the battle. My life will be better for trying. Thankfully I can draw my strength from an eternal source, God the creator of all things. I'm a microscopic dot on the universal mat, but He knows me and loves me with an everlasting love.
He is worthy of me getting to know Him, to hear me say good things about the things He has done, to live in His directed paths. You are God Alone! Unchangeable, Unshakable,Unstoppable God that is what You Are!

Phillips, Craig and Dean have a song that says exactly that


Dreaming Big of His Love today,
Heather