Today we said goodbye to my husband's mom with a memorial service. This was one of the toughest things I have done. I hurt for my husband. I guess I almost cry at every funeral because I hurt for the people hurting. But this one was different because it was family and I was seeing the hurt on loved ones faces. My eyes stayed with tears. Amazingly God was at my rescue. He walked me through every word. I was totally dependant on Him.
I don't have a real word for today, I'm drained, physically and emotionally. But I would like to share with you my joy and praises.
This was the first time meeting my husband's brothers. They are 21 and 19; I hate that we have missed out in being relationship with them but now we have an open door to make a change. That's what is going to count, where do we go from here?
In Georgia time it's almost 3 am. We laid a mom to rest, we reunited with friends and family, and insomnia doesn't change from the east coast to the west.
2009 and 2010 have been difficult years for us, but we are stronger and wiser. Through each of these trials I've learned to ask the question "how does this affect me eternally?" So I lost a wedding band, doesn't change my marriage. So we lost a job, doesn't change the fact that God provides our needs, not a job. So our computers crashed, there is always Bill. So we lost our earthly identity, not our eternal one! But the one on, so we lost a mom...yes that one affects us eternally. There is so many more things that should have been said to her.
I can't live quiet any longer. There is too much life to live. I've been given this life to use it to the full glory of God. This experience changes a lot of things. I realize that even though I haven't hit 30 yet, it is a possibility to lose a parent. I know I've said before that we have to live everyday like it's the last... Every conversation, every action with an eternal perspective. My life can't help but change. Does it mean that I am going to be perfect everyday from here on out, no. That's impossible and unrealistic. But striving toward that is half the battle. My life will be better for trying. Thankfully I can draw my strength from an eternal source, God the creator of all things. I'm a microscopic dot on the universal mat, but He knows me and loves me with an everlasting love.
He is worthy of me getting to know Him, to hear me say good things about the things He has done, to live in His directed paths. You are God Alone! Unchangeable, Unshakable,Unstoppable God that is what You Are!

Phillips, Craig and Dean have a song that says exactly that


Dreaming Big of His Love today,
Heather

Saying Goodbye to Lynelle, Ian's Mom

You may have heard it said that death is the one thing everyone has in common
While that is true on one level,
On several others, death is not the same experience for any two of us

For some of us death will come at the end of a long life or a long illness
It may be something we wait impatiently for
It is likely to be a welcome release
For both the one who is dying
And the family and friends who have witnessed long suffering

For many of us, death will be a surprise visitor
with no time to prepare ourselves or our loved ones
With no time to plan how that death will be commemorated
With no clear understanding of “why”

We may ask Why did Lynelle have to die now?
It seems too soon
It seems too sudden

For Many of us those questions will never be clearly answered
They are mysteries
And we will have to decide how to deal with them
Whether to get stuck forever trying to get answers to impossible questions
Or whether to trust in our loving Creator
To leave the unknowable to the one (the only one) who knows
To trust that where we cannot see
a purpose or understand the timing of what seems to be a random act
our God is still the sovereign of all Creation
and all things work together to achieve God’s good purpose for our lives

While some of us will have more warning of our approaching deaths and may understand the how and have a better guess at the “why now”
All of us are left with one mystery – “what next?”

For those of us who know God personally we may not even think of the what next as a mystery
We Have become so used to trusting the what next to our God and our Savior
That we forget that we don’t actually “know”
At least not in same way we know where we are right now or
What is happening around us

And yet the only reason that we aren’t begging God to explain the “what next”
Is that we have faith that everything Jesus told us is true
He has gone ahead to prepare a place for us
And where he is, we will be also
Our place in paradise is assured
We trust (even though it is still a mystery)
That “we will not all die, but we will all be changed . .
That Death has lost its sting”

I’d like to suggest that the way to handle the suddenness of Lynelle’s death
Is with that same trust

Trust the Scripture from Ecclesiastes which says

1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Trust that in God’s wisdom it was the appointed time for Lynelle

I think about Lynelle being a seamstress, all the neat stuff she used to design and make.
At Christmas and birthdays she would send us things like clothes, hair clips, scarf’s, blankets. She made Evan his curious George blanky and several outfits. She made me scarfs and Ericka hair clips.
One time she even sent a fur mitt that Ian and I had a time figuring out what it was for. Leave it to us…. Since she was a masseuse, a very good one at that she found things like fur mitts appealing. And yes we still have it, it’s a neat black and white design.

I couldn’t help to think about the unique gifts God entrusted her with, the talent to search through record after record of family history and put the missing pieces together. Many of us would not have the patience to do the things she did.
She spent years of her life acquiring new skills and studying and earning college degrees and certificates. Although she may not have come through on all her dreams she gave it all she had.
I think about Lynelle gardening. She loved plants, flowers, and any kind of garden. She loved to help others with her gardening skills. Not many of us have a talent for keeping things alive much less getting them to grow.
We may not be able to nurture a garden like Lynelle, or have the patience with a needle and thread but each of us have been given something, some gift to work with. I believe God chooses us for His own and calls us to Himself. He plants within us seeds of greatness. To some our seed of greatness may seem small. I’d rather die cultivating a seed of greatness and look pitiful to others here than live my life harvesting from a garden that looks beautiful but ends up withered and wasted in the eternal realm.
If God’s love is in us we have everything we need to fertilize our God given destiny. The most important destination is the one Lynelle just reached. She’s turning in her harvest right now in the presence of God.
Lynelle cultivated her love to her family by telling us she loved us, through her hands, through her talent of genealogy and story writing. God planted his seed of love in Lynelle’s heart, though it was short lived it grew, and it grew in us.
Each of us are born with a natural desire to seek that eternal love from our Creator. How we respond will determine our eternal destination.
I like to think Lynelle has reached her final destination dancing in the middle of the most beautiful garden soaking in that eternal love, the love she has waited for her entire life. There is no more pain, no more emphezema, no more worries and she is finally at peace, at home in the arms of Jesus. I can’t wait to join her there.

Lynelle had dreams and hopes for her children. Like any loving parent, she wanted even better, happier, and more complete lives for you than her own. I'm sure she also had dreams and hopes for herself and looked forward to a long life.

Ian, Travis, Cameron by the way you cultivate what is in your heart and live your lives, by living with honor, compassion, and joy, you can realize the dreams your mom had for you and even the dreams she had for herself. You are her legacy, and a wonderful legacy you are. May you live, give and love well.

And may my readers not only dream big today of God's love but receive it!

I close with two songs we will be playing at her service
"One More Day" by Diamond Rio
"I'll Fly Away" by Alison Krauss